Tag Archive: School


Feeling geeky…

Well school is almost over… and I am getting stressed about it cuz guess what… since it will end in about 3 weeks from today, ALL teachers will try to shove whatever units/tests we have in such little time!!! That ain’t gonna be good for anyone… -_-

I’ve been working on my final project in my OOP class for a while now, and it’s going well but not as fast as I would hope cuz honestly some stuff I must learn on my own and it’s all just thinking how it’s gonna work… I’m doing a scrabble game in Java, so yeah, it’s getting quite complex since scrabble needs LOTS of rules and procedures such as choosing a word and letter to use, checking spelling, adding points, showing a graphical table with all words (not doing buttons tho cuz that would be HARD to do at this moment)…
It’s supposed to be in “teams of 4” but I’ve worked in a team in my class and let me tell you that it’s almost impossible for all of us to agree… specially since some are too lazy, or they don’t know much about what to do in the class… some even hold us back!!!

And also, I’ve been wanting to use my Ubuntu distro installed in my computer for a while, but due to Windows incompatibility of MS Office I must stick with Windows for a while longer… but I also want to try something out: using Linux Mint…

I read a sorta blog about the differences between Ubuntu and Mint, and they say that Mint lets you do more tweaking and such, and that it has more of that Windows look and that it’s a bit faster and complete (it has Java, VLC, etc) than Ubuntu… so I might make a live USB of it later on to try it out… or add it to next to my Ubuntu distro on my computer… but I need to see how I edit the grub settings so I can choose which one to boot from…

Anyways… I guess this is all gonna be done sometime during my vacations…

^^_

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wow… long time huh??

Yeah, long time I don’t write here… I blame school and some life problems…

Sooooo… let’s see…. I’ve been quite busy with school lately… yesterday I did about 20 integral problems and the day before I finished my calculator thingy for OOP. I also finished some accounting homework and well, it was boring all day yesterday… but it had to be done…

Anyways, my life has been quite dull recently… I had a fight with my brother (more like those stupid hand fights from cartoons) and it made me realize how tired I am of him… sure he “cares for me” (really freaking deep inside), but he still is an a-hole… I realize that if it weren’t for him some thing that were bad in my life would have never occurred… so yeah, I dislike him quite a lot and I am fed up with him, so no more helping him… yeah, he can manage on his own and so can I…

Other than that, I’ve been a bit depressed due to lack of free time, stress and some feelings I’ve been having… but I’m getting by in life just fine I think… nothing to be worried about… ^^

And as a final note, I’ve seen Yure and Roger draw their fursonas in cute light-green colored cloth diapers… this has made me want to wear one even more than before… especially those light-green ones!! I just keep wondering what it would feel like to wear a cloth diaper with velcro-tapes thingy… and to kinda satisfy that need, I might draw Childish  with one… but I’d still rather have one IRL… maybe one day… I already have seen some sites but their design are not really what I’m looking for… still, there is 1 or 2 sites that give me hope since they say “we make custom orders” and especially one that has a “celery” color (which I think it’s light-green enough)… hopefully one day I will buy one… or two!!!
^_^

PS: New avatar… drawing made by Roger!!

random update thingamajig… =P

Well, this is just a random update of what’s going on with me… =P

School
It’s been awesome!!! I really am enjoy school quite much!! My grades are WAAAAAAAAAYYYY better than in med school!!! Everything’s is basically higher than a 90 except for Discrete Math (85) and Investigation Basics (unknown, test still coming this Monday)… so yeah… im glad to have made the change… and im glad finals is almost over (just that one class)…

Furry
I’m trying to get back to the hang of things… trying to draw again (already finished 1 drawing) and will try to improve… I will also start working on the guide again and finish some other stuff too… some changes i’ve made so far:
My diaries will be from now on a “need-to-write” basis instead of daily… frankly, this is cuz I got quite bored and tired of writing daily my life… and i saw that many times i write “Boring stuff… stuff… usual crap…” and thus to avoid this, I will write whenever I feel and get the chance to write… =P

Life in GeneralIt’s been a bit hectic… mainly cuz our floor is being changed and we had to move everything… so yeah… its awful to have everything in just 2 rooms an have no privacy and all… but oh well…
I bought som stuff too the other day… it was a couple of fast flow (#3) nipples for my baby bottle!! My bottle came with a medium flow (#2) nipple and its kinda tough to suckle on it… so these will help me lots…
Hmm… what else… well, nothing much… I was able to buy myself a pack of goodnites the other day and used them throughout these past 2 weeks… it was a bit odd with the floor thing, but I still was able to enjoy them… =P

That’s kinda it I guess… =P

Random school update… =P

It’s been a while since I said anything about school… everything has been about how horrible things have been sometimes and how im dealing with life, but I never say much about school… well, until today… =P

I have realized this just today; for the first time in over a year, I actually feel happy with my school and even glad to go to class!!! Yeah!!! At first I felt a bit bad about leaving med school, but now, I can safely say that I made the right choice!! I’m doing very well and I’m liking it… my classes are Programing Basics, Administration Basics, Discrete Math, Ethics, Differential Calculus and Investigation Basics… oh yeah, and Cello!!

I am VERY good at programming (no boasting/bragging), and I’m enjoying it every day!! I also like calculus and even discrete math (tho the teacher goes funky at times) and I’m enjoying Cello class… as for Admin and others, im doing great, even tho they don’t raise my interests that much, I’m not failing any class!!!

Yep, this career is actually making me happy!! Best of all, not much stress to handle and NO HAVING TO MEMORIZE 4 CHAPTERS IN 1 NIGHT!!! Tho I keep waking up at 3:30am cuz it makes me awake… in med school, I found out that if I wake up with just enough time, I am still sleepy in class, while when I wake up with more than enough time (an hour or so) I don’t fall asleep in class at all!!! And I’m going to bed around 10:30 or 11pm… so around 5 hours isn’t so bad (when you compare it to only 2)!!!

^^_

I can now say that August was OFFICIALLY the WORST MONTH this year so far… trust me, July did NOT compare to the HELL I went through this month… but am I so damn glad it’s almost over…

Anyways, all of this can be backed up by the fact that I have NOT written anything in my diaries since the beginning of the month… all I write is quick notes for later such as “morning stuff, RP, etc”… why? Cuz all of this has been killing me slowly and daily… but now, I’m going to start school tomorrow the 27th and I’m hoping this will take my mind off of all this sh*t that I have to live through… and I must thank all my friends cuz if it weren’t have been for them, I would have gone insane and probably still be VERY depressed by it…

SO, what will happen this next month??? Aside from school, ummm… well, I shall resume my regular activities and try to forget the whole thing… and I want to make a resolution to finish with editing Brandon’s story, writing the guide, continuing my story, and drawing more about the challenge… but I know that if I do that, it’s basically a guarantee that I WON’T accomplish it… I duno why, but that’s how I work…

Well, I’m just hoping now for the best… and with Oreo in our family now, I hope for the best for both of us… yeah, he’s such a cute lil puppy, but I must train him lots… =P

Well, yes, I finally had my admission test just yesterday (Friday, June 8th)… it was alright, and I felt like I passed it, but I will know for sure on the 9th of next month. So I now wait for an entire month for the results… and here is how it went down… during this entire week, I have been struggling for this test, and well, it paid off…

It all started out well, we got the test started @09:35 and we supposedly had 4 hours to finish the entire test. I thought, “4 hours must be plenty then”… but I wasn’t counting on the curved ball they threw at me… it was 2 tests!!!! And the 2nd one was the curved ball for me…

Test 1 subjects: Math reasoning, Math, Verbal reasoning, Spanish, Technology
Test 2 subjects: Calculus, Physics, Math, Chemistry, English

I didn’t study ANY calculus or physics or chemistry!!!! The only thing that saved me (thank God) was that I had learned when I was in Chemical Engineering… and also, no history (which was good and bad… good cuz I dont like it, bad cuz I studied for nothing)…

I had to finish in about 3 hours 30 minutes cuz the test was officially over @13:00!!! So I finished the first test in 2 hours (my time limit for it), and somewhat rushed the other one with the 1.5 hours I had… I skipped to the subjects I knew the most (like math and technology and English) and went back to the other ones with the time left… I left some blank cuz I honestly didn’t know the answer to them…

And now, if I get a score of 800+ it’s passing… but a score between 800 and 1,000 means I get to take a mandatory class in physics and calculus for 2 hours each per day… I actually would like that so that way I re-learn what I know in them… and I don’t feel like I’m a total idiot later on…

Now, I have been a lil stressed this week about my father calling me… he apparently cares now to call me, but so far, he hasn’t had the guts to do so… he has my number from the beginning of June of 2011, and yet he has not called me… I really don’t care about him doing so or not, I don’t know about him since 6+ years ago. And well, he never cared about me, as you saw in my background stories…
Well, aside from that, I’m also waiting for a call from a job I applied to, which I hope to get it, but I duno.

Lastly, what should I do about med school? I want to just quit already, but my mom says I should stay in it for the finals. She feels that if I don’t pass in systems, that I should stay in med school and finish it, but here is my theory in that…

If I don’t care about med school, I am not interested, I don’t get it, and I pretty much suck at it as of today still, what makes anyone (even myself) think that after failing a test for admission in another career is going to make me a better student in med school, or raise my interest in it?

Seriously, I feel it’s stupid that illogical thought… and so I just want to go to the principal and say “I quit” and leave. ok ok ok, I have to do MORE than that (a whole process) just to leave it forever. I  am not planning on staying in med school no matter the outcome of the test. Seriously, I prefer to save 10 lives without me then killing 8 with me as a doctor, thanks to my ignorance. And well, I also want to sell all my med books cuz I don’t really need them, and I know many students (especially the new ones coming in this semester) need them like right now. I will sell some as if they were new cuz they basically ARE new (I used them, yes, but they’re in VERY good condition that it looks as if I never did). I want to make up some money lost from them…

But I will have to talk to my mom about that, cuz it’s her that’s keeping me from doing so. It’s all her that’s making me stay right now in med school and take the finals this upcoming week. But what’s the point? I know I will fail them, so why go anyways? I have only passed 1 class (biochemistry) and the rest, I will pretty much fail it… histology is a fail, anatomy too, and demography… well, maybe not demography, but who knows… and if I fail anatomy, it means that next semester (I think) I will be taking anatomy only for it… no other class (called last opportunity)… yeah, not fun really.

*sigh*
Now I must think about stuff to do… and work on the guide, some drawings (gift art, diaper chain collab work in FA, etc), Java programming and Unix stuff (terminal commands mainly, but other stuff too).

=P

last week of school ^^_

YAY!!! NO MORE SCHOOL!!! … cept for tests… -_-… and this week has been quite mood-swingy like… I think it’s been fun and weird for me… you be the judge…

So, to start off, yes, this WAS my last week of school… I only have the finals to work on now, but seeing that I never studied, I don’t care and I pretty much just lost all interest in med school, I think I’m going to fail most of them if not all… why go then? Just to finish this semester and get it over with… the only test I WILL study for is the admission exam for Systems Engineering (coming this 8th).
The school psychologist is plain boring… all she did was make me takes these stupid personality tests and thats it… but I won’t get to see them cuz I won’t go back to her office again… (lol)

Life:
It has been awkward for me… it went from sadness, to ENVY, to anxiety, and then happy… and at the moment painful. Sadness cuz I’m bored and I can’t do much about it. I want to draw but I kinda suck at it anyways… *sigh* I need to do something… and I had envy at this furry kid in FA (Ven) cuz he has the TB life I ONLY DREAMED OF come to life… I would post his journal link here, but I duno… I don’t like doing that much without permission, cuz it feels like I might be getting them in trouble… so instead I’ll post his journal without linking… JUST REMEMBER THIS ISN’T MY LIFE!!! (though I wish it were) T-T

So I went to bed padded… as usual how ever i woke up to my mom sitting on the side of my bed stroking my head and patting my wet diaper (i don’t know why i started wetting the bed again). So i look at my diaper and it was a dark yellow color! so then i acted angry and blusher A LOT! Then she said “he’s back!” And i asked “who?” Then she said “…. My baby.” then she kissed me on the head and gave me a big hug! Then she handed me a pic she got of me and it said “before” and it showed a pic of me as a baby. Then it said “after” and showed a pic of me that night! It had me snuggling my plushie, in my wet diaper and t shirt. Then on the bottom it said ” can you see the difference? I can’t! =P So thats when i think i turned a completely new shade of red! Then she said it time to get up my little crinklebutt! So yeah I’m still trying to comprehend all of this!

Well, with that little journal I got OVERLY pissed at his life and mine… but after talking it out to myself in a recorded journal (just recording myself with my phone), I was able to get rid of all the jealousy (felt something lifted off of me, no kidding) and replace it with err.. love?… I duno… I mean, after that I read this and all I can say is “AAWWWW!!!” and “THAT’S SOOOOOO CUTE!!!”… sure, I still wish that were my life, but not feeling hatred towards him…

Anyways… I also got  anxious about a job cuz I might be able to get in!!! It’s a ummm… cybercafe? duno what you would call it in English… it’s a place with many computers where you can use one for whatever… but they also have a department of computer maintenance of a somwhat big movie theater and other companies… and they employer (seeing I want to switch careers) said I would start in the cyber and then he would transition me to the systems… so I hope I get in, and best of all, it’s VERY close to my house, like 3 minutes away walking… I’ll know what happens next week…

And now I’m in a bit of pain cuz the last 2 wisdom teeth where pulled out today… so it hurts a bit yes, but I won’t have any problem with them anymore… so that’s ummm… better? And also, I got this amazing gift art by rogerwolf92 from FA… it’s awesome!!! and I obtained permission to use the colors he used with my fursona as my own… so now “childish” has colors!!! and the shape I plan on making it in reference to Yure’s drawing…

^^_

another week gone by…

And still, everything is about the same… actually, I forgot what I did throughout the entire week!!! Good thing I have my diary to look at (which I should start posting again… hmmm, wonder why i stopped that).

Life:
According to my diaries, my life has been horribly boring… well, not entirely, but most parts. I have done nothing much except for the guide and a few other crap. Gotten angry with my brother and other people, but thats pretty much it. I wrote many things in it right now but still not even beta version. It needs more… MUCH more… But yeah, everything else has been boring. Everything except the RPs, which are awesome, but they get a lil boring when you are very sleepy…
Umm… I have talked to Noggum (the furry from my city) via chat and it was awesome! He is cool with me being an infantilist… he asked if I ever wanted to wear a diaper one day, and I replied “only ONE day?” and gave him the explanation and link about infantilism. He’s cool with it and finds it interesting… and also, he goes to the school and career I want to go!!! He told me the career is nice and relaxed a bit, and that it’s tons of math and some programming, but everything is cool. That just cheered me up and now I want to learn java programming… which I kinda am ^^
And also, I told my cousin about me being an infantilist, babyfur and bi… and she’s also cool with it!!! I was very happy to have told her, I been wanting to for a long time, but I just felt too scared to do so since she is my family. But yeah, she thinks it’s normal and finds nothing wrong with it… damn it feels so nice for someone in my family to know and accept me ^_^

School:
I have talked to the psychologist and I kinda hated it. She basically made me think who I was and what I wanted. Well, I am that babyfur self, and what I want is to have a relaxing and somewhat happy life full of surprises and ups and downs!! As for a job, I don’t really see myself as a doctor at all, and I imagine myself being the manager of the systems in a company; making sure they work properly, fast and all work gets done. You know, just fixing them and being able to do many things in my computer… and to even strengthen my love and interest for computers, my brother is doing a sorta thesis about viruses, and he’s asking my opinion and it’s awesome!!! I love to think about viruses and anything computer related!!! But I guess the psychologist doesn’t see that in me…
Anyways… school has been the most boring since ever!! I have NO clue what they are talking in Histology, no interest in Anatomy, nothing about Biochemistry and seriously not giving a flying F about Demography!!! It has come to such extent that I don’t do my homework and I skip classes. I mean, look. If I have to learn everything at home, and my homework is what I have to present in class and I don’t do it, what’s the point in going to class? What’s the point in telling the teacher “I didn’t study” and skipping me? Seriously, it’s stupid.

And well, I guess that’s it… I’m actually a little worried about Yure cuz of his school stuff… I hope you are doing fine right now, and I still wish I could help you out more!!

*hugs*

This week…

has been like a roller coaster ride… so many ups and downs lately I think I might fall off the seat!!

School
Oh boy… it seems all I say about school is that it’s horrible, and well, it is, but what did I expect? The school systems sucks here!!! But it’s not like I can change that right???
So, this week at school, on Monday I got my pass to the test (with my aunt’s help), then I had to have a special meeting with my tutor on Tuesday; unfortunately, I couldn’t find him on the day he wanted me to see him… but I was fortunate to see him in the hallway on Wednesday and told him I wanted to switch careers. And guess what he said!!! Oh God, I hate this but… I have to go talk to the school’s PSYCHOLOGIST!!!… if there is one thing I dislike the most is talking to therapists and psychologists… they are boring to me. I already dealt with many therapists/psychologists in my past, but I guess it must be done for school reasons.
Anyways, I also met with the principal and he didn’t know I flunked Anatomy 1, and he said he’ll strangle me (jokingly)… the thing is, he knows me and my mother since we told him about my case (coming from the US etc.) and well, I’m just thinking: what will he say when I tell him I’m out of med school for good?… It’s not like it’ll affect anything, but just curious to know…

Life
I have been sorta “PMSing” lately… for some odd reason, I have been depressed and happy and depressed and angry and happy and so on… and well, I made a small little poem-like story in FA about it. I also did other things like an attempt of a self-RP and a therapy session in the style of Yure ^_^
But the biggest thing that has happened to me this week in my personal life is this… I have come to realize something that I would never have done without the help of my friends Brandon, Yure, and Ryan (a great babyfur friend I met in FA)…

I am not who you see. The person, or surrogate as I call it, you interact with all the time is just that; a body, a fake image, a human representation of myself. Who I TRULY am is a babyfur whose name is the name given to him as a human. All the feelings, the actions, the decisions, the character, everything about me, is actually done because of my babyfursona! You may think it’s stupid or crazy talk, but that is how I feel. That is how I am. And that is how I always want to be!! =P

And that’s true!!! I have seen that the only time I am truly happy is when I am letting my babyfur side out to play!!! In all of my RPs, it’s him that does all the talking, not me. I actually am SO happy when I am my little self inside… so I prefer to feel that I am just stuck in this body forever, and that I will always be a babyfur all my life as well!!! ^_^

Other stuff
The other day, I made an account in this site where it shows many registered furries around the globe… I found none near my home so I decided to make an account and put it there. And in that same day, I met this furry online who lives in the same city as I do!!! I couldn’t believe it at all!!! And well, he wants to meet me some day and I am nervous about that, but would be nice to meet another furry IRL.

And well, that’s my entire week… sorta. I am doing right now much better and not feeling depressed for now… and also, the following message is for all those AB/DLs or those with a diaper fetish:
I am in the process of making a sort of guide for help and advice on being an AB/DL… it ranges from understanding what/how/why it is, to wearing diapers, to getting diapers and such… I don’t know when I’ll finish, but just to give you a heads up… I already made a couple of texts where I talk about my experiences wearing diapers in public and shopping for them. So yeah, when it’s finished, I will upload it somewhere and let you all know about it.

=P

Define Irony…

People can be very ironic without them intending to be… here is an example which suits the definition of irony:

School friends ask me “did you study?” and (even tho that’s ironic by itself) I say “not really, I don’t understand Histology at all”. So they say this to me “oh come one Juan!!! Histology is the easiest!!!”
Now here comes the ironic part of it: if Histology is SOOOO easy as they say it is, then how come they failed the last test she gave us? How come they have to study for HOURS without end for the Histology test if it’s SOOOO easy???

You know, my definition of easy when it comes to school is “you clearly understand the subject taught with little to no doubts and there is no real need to memorize or study so much”. Wouldn’t you agree? I mean, I find math easy, that means that I can understand math and I do NOT need to study for hours for a test because when you understand something very clearly, there is NO need to do so!!! You already understand it, so why study it if you know it already?

Sure some practice helps, but ask yourselves this: do you study what 2+2 is? Maybe if you are learning basic math yes, but if you already know what the answer is (fish), how and why you get that answer, do you need to study it for hours if the teacher is going to put a test on it? Seems ironic to me that you’d call that easy and have to study it for hours… and I would’ve loved to say that to them, but I can’t because I don’t want start any fights or arguments (they can be quite sensitive).

*sigh*
The world we live in is weird…

=P