Tag Archive: New


So… back at it again?

So yeah… once again I am back at writing here… after a little over a year of no activity.

And why am I doing this again?? Well, believe it or not, I want to try something out and maybe even help someone in the future (if not myself). But lets first try to devide this post a bit in case anyone actually cares about what has been going on in the past year… (although I am quite certain nobody really cares except for like 1 or 2 people I know)…

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I can now say that August was OFFICIALLY the WORST MONTH this year so far… trust me, July did NOT compare to the HELL I went through this month… but am I so damn glad it’s almost over…

Anyways, all of this can be backed up by the fact that I have NOT written anything in my diaries since the beginning of the month… all I write is quick notes for later such as “morning stuff, RP, etc”… why? Cuz all of this has been killing me slowly and daily… but now, I’m going to start school tomorrow the 27th and I’m hoping this will take my mind off of all this sh*t that I have to live through… and I must thank all my friends cuz if it weren’t have been for them, I would have gone insane and probably still be VERY depressed by it…

SO, what will happen this next month??? Aside from school, ummm… well, I shall resume my regular activities and try to forget the whole thing… and I want to make a resolution to finish with editing Brandon’s story, writing the guide, continuing my story, and drawing more about the challenge… but I know that if I do that, it’s basically a guarantee that I WON’T accomplish it… I duno why, but that’s how I work…

Well, I’m just hoping now for the best… and with Oreo in our family now, I hope for the best for both of us… yeah, he’s such a cute lil puppy, but I must train him lots… =P

stupid, crazy days…

Another time I don’t update… sorry about that, but all this time it has been stupid, crazy and just… I duno!!! I’ll explain why…

Stupid

I’ve been feeling stupid and useless and like the worst friend ever lately. Mainly it’s because I feel that I keep letting them down!!! I have this story from Brandon that I really want to read and edit, this guide for many *BDLs to continue, a story for my friends to write, and notes and journals to read and reply from friends in FA!!!! However, I don’t do all that because… well, I DON’T KNOW!!! I DON’T KNOW WHY!!!!… Is it because I’m bored?? Because I feel sick (somehow)?? Because… WHY??!!!…
Also, I found out one of my friends is going to therapy for his diaper fetish… his parents forced him to go and for some reason, I feel that it’s my fault!!! I feel that it’s all my fault that he is going!!!
All I can say to you all is… I AM EVER SO SORRY!!! T-T

Crazy

I have been going out with friends lately (for once in my entire lifetime), having a nice time talking with them and having some coffee… and my mom now is suspicious of me!!! She is kinda onto me about my sexuality… she think that my friends (specifically 1 friend) is more than that… that he is my boyfriend!!! She actually thought I was gay, which, as you may know, it isn’t half wrong… I’m bi but more attracted to men than women. But how am I supposed to tell her that?!! I couldn’t possibly be able to!!! My friends, who are gay furries, would back me up if I need them… but I still don’t think I could tell her that any time soon. My plan is to tell her I’m bisexual either when I;m about to finish Systems, or when I already have a job… that way she can’t say that I won’t be able to succeed in life and I can get a place to stay in any worst case scenario.

And as for anything else… I duno… I’ve been getting sick lately… it’s not a cold or anything, but my freaking stomach!!! And I sometimes feel anxious and nauseous… crap…. and depression is kinda hitting me for some reason… maybe it’s because of the stuff I mentioned above and plus of not being able to tell my mom about myself. Having to hide everything from her… everything that is ME, she has NO clue about, or so I think.

I am not much of a coward (a little, yes) but it’s not that I am afraid of what they might do to me… they can lynch me for all I care. What I am afraid of is to hurt them VERY deeply by telling them just that I’m bi!!! I am afraid that they might feel so deeply ashamed of me that they might go into a deep depression and hatred. I don;t want anything to happen to them, but I also don’t feel right about hiding them this sole truth about me forever… I feel wrong in lying to them, in making them see a me that is a complete lie…

I need a hug
T-T

It has been almost a month since my last post… I feel that I have been TOOO lazy all this past month… and I apologize about that. So much has been going on with me right now, and I just didn’t have the mood to write here (heck, even my diaries have been blank for days!!)… So this time, I will try to get back into things…

School:
I was able to finally quit med school and say goodbye to the principal and academic secretary too… they respect my choice. I have yet to sell my med books, but people won’t buy them!!! I have only sold 1 book!!! -_-
As for systems engineering, I GOT IN!!! Just saw the scores a few days ago and I passed in 16th place (out of 206 who passed), and that also means I don’t have to take the extra classes for physics and calculus (which I would have loved). So yeah, I must sign up later in August…

Family Life:
Many ups and downs… the major one was the VISA one… but we got over that and been able to live our lives better right now. Mom is looking for a job, and I wish I had a job too. Many things have been going on with my family, even my b-day, which was an AMAZING day for me (will proly post my diary of it so you can see what I mean). And lately, nothing much has been going on.

My Life:
Been mood swinging lots… kinda like my PHS, but there isn’t a holiday near… I duno why… perhaps it’s my jealousy towards others, but the good thing was that I can make good vent art in FA… made one that I really loved and put it up in FA… yeah…

That’s it for now… I don’t wana bore anyone at all with my rants and such… will write other stuff some other time…

=P

1 week left… update…

Oh boy!!! *sigh* well, I only have 1 week left of real school, then it’s finals for all month long… yeah, June finals… I have like 4, one starting this week though…

School:
Boring, boring, boring… OK, I might have not said this before, but since I don’t give a flying F for them, I started to skip some of them… or have I said that before?… wait… *checks older posts*… oops!! I have, sorry ^_^
Well… it’s been VERY boring lately in there… I do nothing fun and really nothing worth my time… and I dislike going to the psychologist, but I think I can make it so tomorrow monday is my last visit with her. I finally found out WHY my interest plummeted to the ground for med school: I am disappointed!!! Not with myself, but with the school system….

So, the other night I had a small argument with my mom, and we talked about me and med school yet again. And we came to the conclusion that I still love med school, but that I am disappointed in the way they teach it here in Mexico, and thanks to that my interest just died. Perhaps, if it were taught in a different way (where learning was what matters most and not the grade) then maybe I would still be enjoying it. But no, it is not that way at all in almost any place. So, I prefer to just quit med school and go for a career where, even though it is the same type of system where only the grade matters, I can actually LEARN something and even UNDERSTAND it with less difficulty. For some reason, computers have been quite better for me to understand, and so is math; thus I say the following:

Staying in med school, passing with the lowest passing grade possible, and becoming a mediocre doctor is not what I want. I prefer to quit and go for something I know I am better at understanding and learning than becoming something I am NOT and actually doing more harm than good in society. I rather be able to break a computer and replace it somehow, than leave an empty, dark and bottomless pit in someone’s heart by taking the life away of someone they loved thanks to my ignorance.

And so, my decision. I want to talk to the principal and the psychologist about this feeling, and I proly will. So there we go…

Life:
Aside from the unexpected surprise, I had more unexpected surprises… well, it was really just one today, but I still love it. A great friend of mine from FA (roger) has made a gift art for Yure, Ryan and me… I was SHOCKED to see it cuz I never had it coming!!! IT WAS IS AMAZING!!!!! I LUV IT!!!! Here is the pic… if you have an FA account, I’d encourage you to fave it and give him som luv ^^

And ummm…. yeah, that’s kinda it… lots of stuff going on in life with me… my b-day is nearing (not good) but something is also nearing… delivery date!!! Of what? Oh nothing especial… just A NEW DOG NAME TAG FOR MY COLLAR!!!! yeah, had it ordered yesterday and it will be here in about 25 to 30 days, so maybe I’ll be able to obtain it on my b-day… =P

And lastly… I HAVE TOO MANY ACCOUNTS EVERYWHERE THAT I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT EMAIL THEY ARE ATTACHED TO OR WHAT THEY ARE!!!!… I have a small file with the accounts and the emails I used for them, but it’s a bit out of date, and I really need time to update ALL of them accounts… at least log in and say something so people know I’m still alive… thing is, I actually use FA the most. That and FB, but eh… I prefer FA, but I also like the other sites like DA, BFME, FMX, IB, SF, etc…

=P

Experiment gone weird…

Well, just yesterday I waned to try somthing out…

As some already know (or not) I am in med school, and one of the things we do thats pretty much against what every doctor advice is not sleep properly at all, somtimes staying up late and having little to no sleep whatsoever… and you tend to go a little nuts with this and you start doing crazy things to stay awake… drinking energy drink, tons of coffee etc…

So, yesterday I was feeling tired and sleepy and thought “why not try somthing that might help me out for the rest of the day?”… so what I did was combine aspirin and caffeine in, well, not excess but in kinda high quantities… We have here (in Mexico, not sure other places) a type of aspirin that’s called “Cafiaspirina” or caffeinated-aspirin, which has 650mg of Acetylsalycilic Acid (aspirin) and 65mg of Caffeine in each tablet… so I took 2 (the max recommended) with a Mokachino coffee drink that was pretty cold… and i did that at around 4pm…

The science behind this is that the caffeine makes your heart rate go up (your heart beats much faster) and the aspirin reduces the size of red blood cells (the ones that carry your oxygen throughout your entire body). So, the caffeine speeds up the blood flow, thus making the absorption of the aspirin MUCH faster and the pain is reduced much quicker… and this also makes you stay pretty much awake since your blood flows with more ease throughout your brain and thus making you stay more alert.

However, the side effects of this went weird for me since I combined too much caffeine to this, and so all i felt was anxiety, dizziness, and a headache… and to top it all off, I didn’t even sleep yesterday!!! Went to bed about 11pm and tried to sleep, saw the clock at 12:23am and then I woke up at 01:00am today, thinking it was already 2am… my brother even said “You only slept 2 hours? Are you nuts?” and I think I was… never told them at all about the experiment.

So right now, it is 3:30am as I’m writing this out, and don’t feel sleepy or tired or anything like that, I do however feel a little lightheaded, but that should go away soon… and no, I won’t try it today, but I’m also hoping i don’t crash out in class or during my entire day, so i need to last till about 8pm at least… i even made a small little log where i wrote the time and how i felt at such timee during the experiment… I don’t know if I’ll try that again, but if I do, it will only be 1 tablet and water, no coffee this time… but that will happen when I really need to be VERY awake, so don’t worry, won’t be trying that out till waaaaaay later…

=P

Home sweet blog…

It took me about… err… hour and a half, but I was able to get all my posts with their respective tag and into their category… phew!!! *wipes off sweat from forehead*
It would’ve been much easier and faster if i hadn’t made a mistake… i deleted some categories cuz i need them for tags, but silly me, I didn’t read the link that said “Convert categories to tags”… so my expression was “FFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!”… ok, maybe not that harsh, but more like “Damn it!!!”…
So yeah, took all this time to get this blog shaped and organized the way I wanted, but not 100% done… im almost never satisfied with blogging look and feel… but that’s just me…

As for the other blog, I will do like Yure suggested… keep using it for mature content only while making this one the “Official” 1childish1 blog… however, i have yet to learn SO much from WordPress… like what the “Report as Mature” link is all about… do i report myself as posting mature stuff so they censor it? What’s with the “Path: p” at the bottom of the ‘Edit Post’ section? Why do they have a goal system of posts (I need 35 for what purpose)? and more that I can’t think of right now…

*sigh* now I’m off to school… not fun at all… need to still do TONS of work for some classes, but I’m getting along…

*crinklehugs to everyone*
=P

Well, I’m just checking out what we have here in WordPress… not very sure if I can find big differences between both blogging sites, but I will try my best to check out both of them.

Also, if I stay in this one (which I just might), I have NO clue what to do with the other blog, whether to delete it, leave it without logging back in, or use it for something else (like for tutorials or somthing else which I duno what)…

So, any ideas what a blog can be good for?? I really don’t like being too much of a burden on anyponythus I would just like to have 1 blog unless I really find use for the second blog… and no, work related stuff is not much of an option cuz, what work? I’m in school and for that we have this anti-social networking site that is more like a virus… or meme? yeah, cuz virus sounds too harsh,and that poniesoverly use and have not much for real contact IRL… if you don’t know what I’m talking about, this site has a huge “F”as it’s logo and the most popular slogan is “Like Us on F…”
Still clueless or your just waiting for me to answer… fine, Facebook, happy? Yeah, I don’t like FB much, but it is my ONLY means of comunication in school since they give out help, quick info, photos of certain lab stuff, etc. So I’m stuck with it, and since I don’t like having 2 separate accounts, I made my FB very personal, so all info in it is true and it does say that I’m an ABDL, Furry and Brony…

Anyways, I  best be going… it is 03:40 am right now and I only have a few hours to do some school work and then head over there… hmmm, any idea what the “Path: p” means?… oh, I’ll just look it up in some vids about WordPress… might as well see what kind of stuff I’m allowed to post or if I need to make it like in Blogger where I must put up the “18+” warning button just so I don’t get into any trouble, not sure if WordPress has that or if it’s “write whatever you want, I don’t give a cookie about it”…

=P

Hello world!

Well, as I said in my other blog… I wanted to try out WordPress and see how it feels, looks, etc… right now, I can’t say which one I will keep, or if I’ll delete one of them or not…

=P

 

Hey there people, how’s your life treating you??? Well, hopefully better than mine…

So, this past week, I’ve been on vacations… we have this week called “Semana Santa” or ‘Holy Week’ where people do somthing church related… apparently, they don’t eat meat on thursday and friday… but since im not catholic (nor much of a christian either) i didnt do anything about it.

Anyways, all I did this week was… sleep, eat, play, roleplay, post crap on facebook, eat some more, go potty, paw* from time to time, do som homework, and repeat… i also watched some videos, did some subtitles work on a few videos i had, organized my 1TB external HDD, etc…

It was somewhat of a boring week, but I at least got to sleep in a few days!!! I also did some homework, so it wasn’t a complete waste of time… and Yure gave me this vid with the music for a game called “VVVVVV” and here is an overall of the game… IT IS AWESOME!!!! short, but still great!!! quite challenging…
I’ll say “get the demo or buy the game” so i am NOT encouraging for anyone to do a google search for “VVVVVV 2.0 torrent” and download it and play it… support the people who make these games and more!!! and also, THE CHIPTUNE MUSIC FROM IT ROCKS!!! i fell in love with “Positive force” especially after 00:41… *gets teary* yeah…

*sigh* that’s my entire week… nothing left to say i think… maybe that we got a new camera (14 megapixels Lumix)… and yeah…

Now, I’m actually thinking of moving this blog to WordPress for a change… the thing is that I keep hearing from some places that wordpress is much better than blogger in quite a handful of ways they can’t seem to point out very well… not that I have anything against blogger, but i wana see what the bigg fuzz is about wordpress. For one thing, you have no captchas for those who don’t have an account there, and you also get email notifications if you opt for them… so i might try to create a wordpress blog, but will need some more searching bout it before going for it (just to see if i can transfer my blogs from here to there, which they say it is now easier than ever before to do so).

=P