Remember that LOONG ago time when I said that my ABDL feelings were so low that I felt that they might have been lost??? guess what… it’s back… I duno why, but that feeling is back…

But this time is different… before it was because I hadn’t cubbed out in a while… and this time I did cub out for a lil while not too long ago… so what’s wrong with me??? Here’s how I feel…

I feel depressed, as if something in me was missing… I feel like I wanna cry until I get comforted, just like before, but I also feel that I wanna scream and be alone… I feel that I have little to no interest in any baby thing or anything ABDL (let alone furry) related… I feel empty, inside out, hollow… I also have this weird feeling that I always feel when depressed: I miss a person I haven’t even met or heard of… yeah, strange, but I feel like I miss that person so much, and yet I duno who he is… all I know is that I miss my “daddy” (not FA daddy Yure) that I have NEVER met, never seen and that doesn’t exist in my life… how can I miss anyone so much without even having seen them or met??? -_-

My guess is that it’s because so much has happened in a while… also school has been a bit rough… but mainly that I can’t really cub out and such… I mean, whenever I wana act babyish, there is always something that keeps me from enjoy such a feel… I feel that something (a thought, idea, thing, person, etc.) is keeping me and my mind tethered to the real world, unable to let my imagination run wild and be free… heck, I even feel that my imagination has depleted lots!!! I haven’t drawn anything since December 2012…

I wish I could hug somone IRL… somone that isn’t my family cuz I feel my family is quite appart… sure we love each other as a family, but we don’t really mean such love… we hide it… duno how to explain…

*sigh*
I hope this goes away soon… or else… I duno what will happen…
TwwT

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