Archive for September, 2012


Where have thou gone to?

Where have thou gone to??

Spent my life looking for you, searching, trying, striving…

And when I found you, my life had changed completely, for the better…

I thought nothing could go wrong, nothing could separate us, nothing could tear us apart…

But boy was I a fool to think that; and idiot to have not thought it was possible…

To think that you’d stay with me forever, never leave me…

And yet, you left me…

You went on your way, and I couldn’t stop you…

And now that I try to find you again, I can’t see your light…

I can’t see, I can’t breathe, I can’t think…

Is there something that impedes me from finding you, from being back with you?

There is no place else to go, no place to hide, nowhere to run to…

So here I am, sitting, wondering, crying…

Thinking about all the places you could be in…

But of all the places, I can’t find you anywhere…

You are gone…

And all I can do is ask myself…

Happiness, where have thou gone to?

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Random update

Welll… its been quite a long while since I last wrote here… and yet, i feel bad about it…

Umm… what can I say?? I’m not really myself still I guess… I mean, the depression is over, which is great! but the feeling of lazyness and crapy state is still here… so I haven’t done much really… school has been taking on me for some time now and Oreo has also done that too….

I have NOT written anything in my diaries except for a tiny summary of my day in each one of them, so now I have about 34 diaries that need completion… why? cuz i want to complete them, yet i duno why i dont… i have free time to do so, but there is somthing that just wont let me… it aint anyone or anything, but something is bothering me that keeps me from acheiving that goal of mine… i wish i knew…

but anyways, im doing OK in school and my family has laid off me as well… I’m not doing their church crap and religious shit, so im glad about that cuz I aint going back to one ever again if I can help it… however, they are still quite a-holes in the fact that my brother gets more rights than me and yet im the one who pays the price of doing somthing… but i can try to handle that….

ugh… im out of ideas, out of imagination, out of thinking, out of my mind, out of my soul, out of every single emotion for some reason…. i duno why… really wish i could cub out for a full day and see if that does the trick, but it seems like im never (and i mean NEVR) going to be alone in the house to do so…

-_-