Sorry about this… I know I have been b*tching a lot lately, but I kinda have no other way to let out some of these feelings, and even though I’m writing them in my diaries, I still can’t get them out of my system.

First of all, my family is laying off a bit… they are still complaining at me about some things, but they aren’t looking through my stuff at all (so they won’t look at my hidden stuff)… however, my brother already knows (and has seen) my furry drawings cuz he keeps on saying to me “keep on drawing your dogs”, so he knows that I draw them, but I don’t think he knows the reason behind them. Oh well, as long as he doesn’t know much, I’m glad…

Secondly, I’m trying to vent art something… but I can’t much seeing that my mind is still set on the events. I’m trying my best to get over that but I just can’t let it go that easily!! It haunts me all the time… and well, seeing the submissions in FA just makes me jealous, pissed, sad, and reminds me of the EVERYTHING block I’m currently in… yeah, I have like 10 diary entries that I haven’t written like they should (only jotted down the events but no real description)…. and I have other work to do, but I can’t because of this crap.

Thirdly, I’m SUPER bored and out of it… yeah, I can’t do anything right now. I want to draw, write, walk, cub out, etc… and yet, I cannot. And school doesn’t start for another week!!! I’ve been on vacations –scratch that– I’ve been IN HELL for almost 4 months!!! I want to start already in order to not be bored and do something!! Mainly cuz I hate keep getting reminded of how useless I am right now by my mom… she doesn’t mean it the harsh way, but the actual definite way. I don’t do anything…

Ugh… I wish things were back to the way they were… but that will NEVER happen…

-_-

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