So today, after I came home from school, I felt sad. I didn’t know why I was sad all the time at home, and then I asked my mom one thing and that pretty much answered everything. So now I see why my depression is existent only at home…

I asked her what my dad thought about the whole career situation, and she told me he supports me all the way but would love for me to talk to him whenever possible. And she also said, as a side note, that my brother was actually against my idea of switching. He apparently said that I am quitting because I didn’t like the memorization and such, but that systems is MUCH worse… mainly because we have to read this programming “bible” and it is a HUGE book (from what I recall him saying once), and we obviously have to memorize everything in it. And then I asked my mom what her side of the topic was and she told me she was unsure about it, she wasn’t for nor against it…

So, I have a family member on each side!!! 1 for, 1 against, and 1 indecisive… nice stalemate if you ask me… so that’s why I feel bad at home, because there is no real support from them right now… and so the only support I have is from my friends Brandon and Yure and from my “dad”… unfortunately, they aren’t here with me, so their support is long distance and still very appreciated… but yeah, I really don’t feel all that happy being in the house where I feel like a stranger for wanting to quit. Well, they aren’t hating me for it, but they have their opinion… so yeah…

And well, I feel that my mom wants me to stay, but she also wants me to be happy… but above all, she wants me to have a better relationship with God… and she is letting God decide my career future, pray for an answer, and I feel that I just can’t stand medicine no more… it is painfully boring, very stressful, uninteresting and just plain and simple: worthless to me…

-_-…

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