This could be the last part of my background info… so just a heads up, READ THE TITLE!! (What about it?) Umm… nothing, it’s just a nice title worthy of reading.

I left out a few details in part 2… and so I am going back to them. Remember when I talked about the awkward moment I had when I was about 5, in part 1? (Never read it…). Well, just to recap, I said I wore some of my cousin’s diapers and wet them for no reason. Well, those feelings came back much later at the age of 12, on the summer of 2004, before the court thingy with the guy.

I was alone most of the time during the weekdays of summer because my mom and dad were working, so I watched movies and played games and such. However, the feelings I mentioned had come back for no reason and well… I couldn’t resist making some makeshift diapers out of some white underwear, tons of cotton balls and toilet paper and some safety pins we had. My mom even brought me some videos from the public library to watch and these videos were for little kids like Winnie the Pooh, Sesame Street, etc. So that made me role-play during the day, turning down requests from my friends to go out and play, and pretend to be a baby again. I used some rags as bibs and even bought some baby food (apple sauce), but I never bought baby diapers then.

Again, those feelings went away with the whole court thing and then came back when I barely turned 13. The guy’s wife has a step-daughter with 2 kids, and one of them wore pull-ups training pants, and so I stayed over for a week with them. At night, while everyone was sleeping, I tried to use one of the pull-ups and pee in them, but they didn’t fit at all (couldn’t get them up to my waist anyways) and barely even wet them. I then threw it away discretely and never said a word about it. I tried it again another night and same results, only this time I hid it somewhere else since the coast wasn’t clear to throw them away properly, and they did find them but they never got suspicious or anything.
Well, I tried to man up to buy myself some diapers that fit, and so I made a plane to buy Goodnites ® protective underwear, but never put it into effect due to some unforeseen change of events.

Much later, when I was back with my mom, the feelings were still there and I was able to get my hands on a package of real baby diapers… Huggies® to be exact. (Why the ®?) better safe than sorry… Well, I enjoyed them so much, that I experienced my first ever jacking off / wanking / pawing off / etc. Basically it was the very first time I have ever masturbated. Felt weird and all (and it hurt like hell!) but I think I was more worried about why I was like this with diapers.

During that time, I researched all over the internet for a “reason” or “cure” for whatever I had. Not really sure what I was trying to look for, but I tried everything in the most discreet way I could. Then, came one day were I finally found my answer! Not quite clear what I searched (I think it was something like “my 13 year old son likes diapers” or something), but I was able to find it!!! What I had wasn’t a disorder and I surely wasn’t the only one, which was what I thought all along. Well, what I found out is that I was…

OK… here it comes… (*drum roll*)… no need for such drama…

I am an AB/DL… meaning Adult Baby / Diaper Lover. It is basically the desire of being a baby again and liking (or loving) to wear diapers. It is NOT pedophile in ANY way at all… I do NOT have any sexual interest in little kids in any way or form, so pedobear isn’t my idol. The actual term is called “Infantilism”, more on the subject, I have provided a link (the one I found) that explains what Infantilism really is: Understanding Infantilism.

Though I will say I’m more on the DL side than the AB side, mainly because I have a Diaper Fetish, but I don’t take the AB side out since I still love role-playing and also love other things like bibs, bottles, footed sleepers, blankets, etc.

If you ask “Why do you like all this?” well, I’m just as clueless as you are. I never really knew why I am an ABDL, but I just accept the fact that I am… it is a part of my, the way my personality is revolves around this, so I will not change it for anything at all.

However, I will say that in the beginning of this time, I was very uptight with religion and all, and I thought this was a sin. I tried quitting on diapers and masturbation, but I always tended to fail in some way. I never told my parents (and I still haven’t) or my friends or anyone, except for a reverend out of desperation (the whole sin thing). I kept going through this binge and purge cycle and it sucked!! I bought diapers, used them and quickly threw them away… and the cycle kept on going.

Years passed, and today I (with the help of an amazing furry friend- Yure) have come to accept myself the way I am. I am happy the way I am, act, feel, etc. And for the furry, I declared myself one on the summer of 2011 and I’ve never been happier with such a statement! I actually had liked furry art since I found out about infantilism, but just never really thought myself of being one until just last year.

And thus this ends the 3-part background story… now you will be able to understand much better the upcoming diaries that I’ll post…
and as always… ALL COMMENTS WELCOME!!!

=P

UPDATE: i kinda forgot to mention this as well… I am also a brony… so there you have it!! I mainly like the animation, voice and classical humor… as well  as other things… so don’t judge it by the intro… watch at least 2 episodes to get the feeling for it ^_^

Advertisements