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So… back at it again?

So yeah… once again I am back at writing here… after a little over a year of no activity.

And why am I doing this again?? Well, believe it or not, I want to try something out and maybe even help someone in the future (if not myself). But lets first try to devide this post a bit in case anyone actually cares about what has been going on in the past year… (although I am quite certain nobody really cares except for like 1 or 2 people I know)…

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Getting back on my paws…

Lately I have been depressed again… feeling quite down for not doing things I would rather love doing, but I guess that’s life… but that’s when I remembered those good times I had in the past.

So I have decided, and hope to be able to achieve, to get back on my paws… and eventho I’m just 2, I’ll try to at least start crawling back to where my life was a bit happier.

I think I will start to do them diaries again so as to release some stress from daily events… also start to take better care of my health; not that is in danger or something, but I have really let myself go (went from size 31 to 33)… I need to eat less junk food and more healthy snacks…

I also need/want to wear a diaper on my mouth and stop being such a potty mouth… tho I don’t say obsenities in public outloud, I still say them to myself which for me is a bit of a bad habit…

 

I want these changes in my life… why? ‘Cuz I just want something to change in my life… I may not be able to change everything but I will give it a good try… and don’t worry, I won’t be making myself suffer and taking things a bit tooooo far… so no starving myself and such…

*hugs everyone*

:3

Heat… >_<

I do NOT like heat much… its alright when im a bit chilly or whatnot, but honestly i prefer the colder and soggy weathers…

lately the climate shifts have been a bit drastic here… hot, cold, rainy, hot, sweaty, cold, rainy, cloudy, freezing, super hot… and so on… and i really get nothing done and cant think of anything when its tooo hot and sweaty…

i wish to move to a city where its usually coldish and rainy (NOT alaska)… maybe seattle… oh i hope that one day…

=P

Yeah… its been EXTREMELY LONG LONG LOOOOOOOOOOOONG time since i have written anything here… its not like anyone other than a couple of friends of mine reads it anyways, right??

but nonetheless (love those long words ^///^) im still alive here… just stressed from school, the heat of the weather… and you know, regular young-adult life drama and such…

recently i’ve read and learned more about computer viruses… its kinda fun!!! i really enjoyed learning about them!!! tho i duno why people would think they are horrible and what not… i mean sure, they suck that your data and stuff gets lost… but hey, look at it this way: a program isn’t autonomous (yet) and it does NOT make mistakes… WE make mistakes, as humans, but if the program has a vulnerability, then the virus exposes such vulnerability and thus…

soooo…. without viruses programs wouldnt have to update and get rewritten… cuz there would be no exploits and such… =P

Feeling geeky…

Well school is almost over… and I am getting stressed about it cuz guess what… since it will end in about 3 weeks from today, ALL teachers will try to shove whatever units/tests we have in such little time!!! That ain’t gonna be good for anyone… -_-

I’ve been working on my final project in my OOP class for a while now, and it’s going well but not as fast as I would hope cuz honestly some stuff I must learn on my own and it’s all just thinking how it’s gonna work… I’m doing a scrabble game in Java, so yeah, it’s getting quite complex since scrabble needs LOTS of rules and procedures such as choosing a word and letter to use, checking spelling, adding points, showing a graphical table with all words (not doing buttons tho cuz that would be HARD to do at this moment)…
It’s supposed to be in “teams of 4” but I’ve worked in a team in my class and let me tell you that it’s almost impossible for all of us to agree… specially since some are too lazy, or they don’t know much about what to do in the class… some even hold us back!!!

And also, I’ve been wanting to use my Ubuntu distro installed in my computer for a while, but due to Windows incompatibility of MS Office I must stick with Windows for a while longer… but I also want to try something out: using Linux Mint…

I read a sorta blog about the differences between Ubuntu and Mint, and they say that Mint lets you do more tweaking and such, and that it has more of that Windows look and that it’s a bit faster and complete (it has Java, VLC, etc) than Ubuntu… so I might make a live USB of it later on to try it out… or add it to next to my Ubuntu distro on my computer… but I need to see how I edit the grub settings so I can choose which one to boot from…

Anyways… I guess this is all gonna be done sometime during my vacations…

^^_

wow… long time huh??

Yeah, long time I don’t write here… I blame school and some life problems…

Sooooo… let’s see…. I’ve been quite busy with school lately… yesterday I did about 20 integral problems and the day before I finished my calculator thingy for OOP. I also finished some accounting homework and well, it was boring all day yesterday… but it had to be done…

Anyways, my life has been quite dull recently… I had a fight with my brother (more like those stupid hand fights from cartoons) and it made me realize how tired I am of him… sure he “cares for me” (really freaking deep inside), but he still is an a-hole… I realize that if it weren’t for him some thing that were bad in my life would have never occurred… so yeah, I dislike him quite a lot and I am fed up with him, so no more helping him… yeah, he can manage on his own and so can I…

Other than that, I’ve been a bit depressed due to lack of free time, stress and some feelings I’ve been having… but I’m getting by in life just fine I think… nothing to be worried about… ^^

And as a final note, I’ve seen Yure and Roger draw their fursonas in cute light-green colored cloth diapers… this has made me want to wear one even more than before… especially those light-green ones!! I just keep wondering what it would feel like to wear a cloth diaper with velcro-tapes thingy… and to kinda satisfy that need, I might draw Childish  with one… but I’d still rather have one IRL… maybe one day… I already have seen some sites but their design are not really what I’m looking for… still, there is 1 or 2 sites that give me hope since they say “we make custom orders” and especially one that has a “celery” color (which I think it’s light-green enough)… hopefully one day I will buy one… or two!!!
^_^

PS: New avatar… drawing made by Roger!!

not again… why this again??

Remember that LOONG ago time when I said that my ABDL feelings were so low that I felt that they might have been lost??? guess what… it’s back… I duno why, but that feeling is back…

But this time is different… before it was because I hadn’t cubbed out in a while… and this time I did cub out for a lil while not too long ago… so what’s wrong with me??? Here’s how I feel…

I feel depressed, as if something in me was missing… I feel like I wanna cry until I get comforted, just like before, but I also feel that I wanna scream and be alone… I feel that I have little to no interest in any baby thing or anything ABDL (let alone furry) related… I feel empty, inside out, hollow… I also have this weird feeling that I always feel when depressed: I miss a person I haven’t even met or heard of… yeah, strange, but I feel like I miss that person so much, and yet I duno who he is… all I know is that I miss my “daddy” (not FA daddy Yure) that I have NEVER met, never seen and that doesn’t exist in my life… how can I miss anyone so much without even having seen them or met??? -_-

My guess is that it’s because so much has happened in a while… also school has been a bit rough… but mainly that I can’t really cub out and such… I mean, whenever I wana act babyish, there is always something that keeps me from enjoy such a feel… I feel that something (a thought, idea, thing, person, etc.) is keeping me and my mind tethered to the real world, unable to let my imagination run wild and be free… heck, I even feel that my imagination has depleted lots!!! I haven’t drawn anything since December 2012…

I wish I could hug somone IRL… somone that isn’t my family cuz I feel my family is quite appart… sure we love each other as a family, but we don’t really mean such love… we hide it… duno how to explain…

*sigh*
I hope this goes away soon… or else… I duno what will happen…
TwwT

here we go again…

Yep, it’s that time again… time to go back to school…

Kinda looking forward to it and kinda not… I like school and it will keep me from being bored at home doing nothing, but I dislike homework and tests… and this semester might be quite harsh since I have a strict OOP (Object Oriented Programing) teacher that will make my life hell, but I think I can handle it since I’m kinda good at logic stuff…

So yeah… I need to keep up my good work and make this semester a great one with a good grade and average… only bad thing is that I’m VERY lazy so that won’t be good… oh well, I’ll manage…

^_^

If this looks quite different, then you can blame the WordPress Windows 8 App… yeah, I’m using it to write to it… ^_^

Anyways, the rant is as follows… my facebook timeline says I have 108 friends… but guess what… out of those 108, about 4 to 7 people are actually my friends (not including family members which is just 1)… that’s about 3.7% of them!!!

How do I know?? Well, just recently (yesterday) I asked for some “school friends” help to pots in a closed group they are in (they kicked me out since I no longer study there) an album that I have where I show the books I’m selling… and well, apparently 9 out 30 people saw it and I feel that they just ignored it… yeah, such great friends you guys are!!!

So yeah… I used to think that friendship was just a word that summarizes the following, “people who hang with you for something you have or something they want from you”… but that changed when I made real friends (like Brandon, Yure, Ryan, Noggum, Nesath, Roger) and when I watched MLP… but yeah… I hate when people don’t want to help others in their time of need… how hard is it to copy and paste???

*sigh*
-_-

2013 – So far so good… =P

OK then… 2013 has actually had a great start!! I have been able to do MUCH better than last year. How do I know?? Well, for starters, my giant and occasional depression is no longer present!!! *Fluttershy yay* ^^_

And to makes things better, my family isn’t fighting much either!! Also, I’m doing more work now… I have been editing the guide since yesterday and it has made A LOT of progress… I’ve written much more that I think I can now say it’s in alpha state (no more pre-alpha), so yeah… I haven’t changed the design of it yet, only the content, so when the design is changed, I shall make it beta… =P

As for drawing, well I haven’t been able to draw anything yet… but I feel with so much energy and happiness that I feel I can draw much easily now… especially since I had practice with my comic thingy for that has helped improve the way I draw the heads and in return the bodies too… so I feel that with much more practice I’ll be able to draw even better!!! And what better way to practice than by making gift art?? (spoiler) ^-^

Anyways, I’ll continue with the guide and other stuff pending… and I hope everyone is having an amazing 2013!!!

*crinkle-cuddles all*
^^_